My Life...My Bhaiya...

My hand couldn’t reach the top of the fridge. I was forbidden to touch the pickle. The wooden stool squeaked as my toes wobbled under my weight. Silence prevailed all around and I seemed like a thief trying to steal on a summer’s day. My hands were long for a toddler but that didn’t suffice. After a number of unsuccessful attempts I wondered while descending “If only I could be lifted.”

The summer progressed calmly. There was no soul to play with me. As I sat isolated all day and night I was told to read. I read a story which taught me look beyond the limits of a blood to blood relation. Many fairy tales revealed the hidden facts of life. Legends carved out a way which led towards accomplishing ambitions. The details of more intellectual chronicles took away my childhood’s innocence. And I realized that life lacked what most of my other friends possessed…An elder ‘bro’…Life moved on and taught me to face challenges, handle responsibilities and transform good into better. The undulations in life expected someone to hold me before I would trip. My heart wanted to reveal its intricacies to that special person who sees to it that nothing harms you. It is that special person for a girl who revives her life with happiness when she is subjected to wounds that can never heal. The longing of an elder brother transformed into a page in my book of unfulfilled aspirations,

Today when things have changed for the good, when I have found someone who knows me in and out, who sings the most blissful song that life plays, I find myself in the lap of eternity. This is a result of the overwhelming love that I’ve received from a purged soul….my Bhaiya’s soul…

Friendship is the basis of every relation. I’ve lived it after having bonded with you. You know every aspect of my life. Your presence makes my world bloom with the diverse colours of happiness. You are my life and it’s a treat to have the pleasure of sharing my life with you. Bhaiya, thank you would be a very small world to express my gratitude after having been blessed by a ‘bro’ like you.

Bhaiya, I promise that I will be there, forever in life for you. Even when the world and you are at two extremes, you will find me there right next to you, holding your hand. If life betrays the trust that you hold for that special person, you can cry your heart out on my shoulders and find solace in my arms. You can rest in my lap, you will find all the love and strength that’s required to recede things onto the right track. If I’m not around just close your eyes for a while and the essence that we share will transfer a warm hug to you. When pain and sorrow confront you, do not be hesitant to speak, I’ll listen patiently and trust me you will feel better. I will be there bhaiya, always…

Bhaiya, you comprise he tune to which I dance. Life could have never found its way had you not been there so help me find the beacon of light amidst the darkness. I couldn’t have a brother better than you. You mean the world to me. I’ll be there in every walk of your life, but I need you to help me steal the pickle jar, deal?.......I love you Bhaiya…

Just for you bhaiya.....with lots of love.....Akansha.....

My Mentor

I ran into the jostling crowd that was heading towards the RCC Sports Ground. The Annual Sports Meet 1997 was about to kickoff in a while. I surged through humungous figures before I reached the main gate. My eyes scanned through the world around. My ears could hear nothing but for the honking of horns. I stood there like a statue bearing the weight of my four-foot tall body, searching for my Dad. In the next five minutes the watchman was taking me back as I tried my level best to escape from the clutches of his arms.

It was already 10:45 a.m. and I couldn’t find my Dad anywhere in the crowd. My heart sunk to realize that my Dad had not made it to the Annual Sports Meet. I stood on the field. The four competitors looked around and found their parents and siblings cheering. The placards were held up high, instilling the confidence and passion in them to win the race. A second before the race was to begin, silence made its way into the stadium. I listened to my heart and searched in the crowd, for one last time. I was convinced to lose.

In the speck of a second, I heard a known voice but the bullet had been fired by then and everyone ran in passion. I ran ahead. I had covered ten meters when I found Dad’s outline at the fence of the stadium, next to the points table. Smile, happiness and bliss filled my heart, all at once. My soul jumped high and my feet helped me move ahead, chasing my challengers. Dad was cheering all the way but at a certain stage I confronted a hurdle and my chin touched the solid earth. Dad’s voice seemed to soar above any other soul’s voice and it did help me rise. I stood up, and darted, this time with the passion to let my Dad raise his head high. In the following five seconds, my pace seemed to be slowing down as my confidence was subsiding. A quarter of the journey was yet to be covered. Amidst all the hopelessness I heard my Dad cry, “Go! You can do it!” it magnified the luminosity and passion of the fire, which had then begun to burn with all its vigor.

The final fifteen meters were the most difficult ones to cover. The windpipe had lost its moistness and everything seemed to take a backseat. “The final go, come on, you can do it!”, these words pushed me head to head with the Sapphire House racer. Destination was close. The last five meters…”Go! Go for it!”….these words accelerated my pace to double the initial speed and I heard a “Yeaaah” as the stiff ribbon touched my torso and fell down. I ran into my Dad’s arms, ten meters ahead and all he said was, “Sorry for being late.”

That was one of the most influential moments, which I live till date. I recall its spirit, even today, to face any race in life. The victory of 1997 was not more important than my Dad’s presence and motivation. It taught me a lesson to put in all the required effort, in any sphere of life where there arises a situation to prove yourself without fretting over victory: The products depend on the reactants used. Your actions have helped me witness and tackle the various facets of rugged undulations in life. The knowledge that I have lived through your life will certainly help me get people know you through my identity as well. I have had the privilege to learn Life’s intricacies from a soul as pure and tolerant as yours. Believe me Dad I will make sure it is inherited in the making of better souls. You mean the world to me. Having been blessed by a mentor in a friend’s disguise is an achievement in itself. Life without you would have just been a road to death.

Love you Daddy…..Akansha….

An Inextinguishable Hope…

Maa, you held me tight,
As I breathed.
The intense glair couldn't come near,
‘coz you stood in between.
Your touch took me to Paradise.
I returned in a bit, crawling.
Truth had revealed its stern face.

I didn’t find you around,
The search seemed to never end.
No one paid heed to my endless cry,
Eyes longed to witness your soul,
I wanted to sleep in your lap.
The rain seemed to have dissolved you.

I await your return,
The wound refuses to heal.
Tears roll down, hopelessly.
My mind seems to escape from time,
Which tries to examine my strength.
And the heart still hopes the dungeon to shine.

I prefer to reside in your heart,
To ascending the stairs of heaven.
I’ll await you, always,
As I walk along this unexplored road.
Maa, can you hear me?

. . Lots of Love . .

The Muisic Of My Existance

The birth of a soul signals the commencement of happiness which binds the atmosphere in a special tune. The flow of this emotion sets fluidity in the progression of events that overwhelm life. Time takes a while before it reveals the colours which are to be dealt with in this journey from birth to death. Successfully adding a variety of strokes to the palate of life’s path is the difference between a balanced and an imbalanced life.

Breathing the air coming from the sea’s surface was the first thing I did. Today, as I retrace my steps, I realize that I have embodied all the types of air in my lungs. It is strange to realize that this is not the source of my survival. As I sit down to search for the answer, I comprehend that the envelope of gases are a mere support to my existence. The fact which hid itself in the immature facet of my soul has finally come out of hiding. Apart from the scientific laws that govern man’s subsistence, it is also the mental stability and peace that are of key importance. Today, I have learnt that it is the happiness spread through ones actions are all that matter. As a matter of fact, a person is an alive corpse if this element is missing in his life. It is a sour truth and cannot be ignored by any means. The positive vibrations brought virtue steps into the picture constitute into the making of a blissful life. One may ward it off, but when we humans try to live life without this form of eternal happiness, life is not lived at that instance, time has to passed. As a result, the goal of life disappears and one does nothing but await death.

The movement of life when love, affection, concern and bliss are filled in, makes one dance to the music that time plays. Life seems to cross all barriers for the good of everyone and takes an individual to the most patiently awaited destination.

My life has witnessed many seasons. The autumn that came in after the shower of love, taught me a lesson which has got buried in my bones. However, the realization came in much later. Time preached me the song of friendship, which encircles the world. Every relation has its concrete base strengthened with friendship. It sings a unique song which carries life into an ocean to make itself heard in every corner and depth of the space around.

An oversight left me stranded on a deserted road in the past. However, the mistake, which distorted my world once upon a time, will never find its place in my present or future ‘coz friendship’s song will never allow my heart to recollect it ever again. The Music helped me find my way amidst the darkness. I walked into a magical world of happiness where spreading love was the only goal of the residents. This music shall never subside.It’ll continue to engross human life with the aspiration of composing a better song. Striving towards perfection is what human life is all about. To reach the tune of that perfect song in the depth of an eternal soul’s heart is the final destination of life.

Coming Home . .

I'd rather have you cry on my shoulder
Than to have to cry on your casket
I want you to take my hand now
And I hope that you never let go
Whisper to me all the things you want to
I'll listen to you until I'm dead and gone

Cry on me
Just let me see
Tell me how you feel
Let me know you're real
Let me put my arms around you
And let you feel something new

Don't try to cut your life
I won't let you use the knife
Don't poison your life away
I need you with me everyday
I know there's nothing I can say
But I need you to stay.

. . Source : Unknown . .

Friendship’s Fallacy

The acquaintances that one develops are indeed paths that lead to the realization of the fact that it is friendship and only friendship that can help one love life. However, as time proceeds the bond strengthens and a stage arrives where immense trust overwhelms it. It is friendship that teaches one to smile in a situation which leaves nothing but for destruction all around. This strength that gets embedded helps to outperform the challenges in every sphere of life. The worth of a lesson leant via this source is the most valuable asset that human life gets awarded with.

Friendship has no boundaries. It teaches one to look at things from a wider angle. There is a question that we humans keep for. And somehow we mistake the closeness in informal friendship for a feeling as eternal as love. With this notion there arises an uneasiness, which perhaps wipes out the pure alliance between the souls. This hypothesis which creeps in, deforms life into a rugged path. To miscalculate friendship as love is a mistake but mistrusting love as friendship is a transgression. Life can proceed if one is made aware of the former blunder. However, the inaccuracy to take love for friendship inhibits one to accomplish ecstasy, even by drawing on other means ‘coz there is nothing that can replace love….even friendship cannot.

A friend will never verbalize if he has laid his eyes on someone…Your love will never articulate that he lays his eyes on you all the time…That's what true love all about. Silence is enough to express countless emotions in love. However, in friendship a slight conformation is required. That is the second spot which sets love and friendship apart. However, love and friendship are almost alike in many respects. One of life’s biggest contests is to demarcate friendship from love. The answer to this problem is embedded in the dark corner of the heart which is untold until one takes the first step to read everything in the eyes of the person whose character and attitude are exclusively the things that teaches you to live life in the best way possible…..

To prevent the heart from overestimating friendship as love and obstructing the mind to mistrust love as friendship are solely the two errands that will decide upon your success in life. Friendship is also a form of love. However, love is a bond which can never establish itself if friendship is absent in the first step that leads to the realization of this eternal feeling. Understanding these two important concepts only, decide your fate to take delight in the happiness and bliss which awaits us in life.

Dear Life.....

Hyderabad
20th April,2008

Chère vie,

I dunno how to begin. I’d begun learning with the advent of your arrival. I was completely at sea when I needed to speak to you. It was merely because I never knew you. The introspection sessions that you held so often for me have made me realize that human life is all about making a better person as time progresses. Having learnt the tricks of tackling the ups and downs is something that I will always cherish. Im indebted to you for having accompanied me to move further on a road where I was stranded at a certain stage.

I met you as a daughter. I was looking forward to know the meaning of ‘Maa’. And till date I continue to search for its significance. Perhaps, it was an inborn flaw that deprived me of interacting with ‘Mother’s Love’. It was,it is and it shall continue to be an incapability to achieve this target. And the result, I haven’t proven myself as a good daughter. Hopefully, in the next birth I hope I get 1% of it so that I can establish 0.1% of myself as a good daughter.

I think its friendship that has brought us so close. After having confronted my luck in my former battle, I think switching over to the overture of friendship was the only choice left, to make something out of my existence. It was the first step that led me towards happiness. However, I regret that I took too long to make this resolution-16yrs after we met each other. At the dawn of our friendship, I approached friends who were destined to meet me. They have added colour to the world where I breathe. I am living in an atmosphere where my pals and you mean the world to me. I have shared a bond with you which is stronger than I could have shared with any other soul. The intricacies of my world are a part and parcel of your soul. You know me the best. Dear life, thank you for having gifted me with an overwhelming present on my 16th birthday. You gifted me my buddies who have taught me to flow along with the tide.

The 17th year of my life helped me discover that the world is too bad to live in. However, it’s your choice of living either in the good or bad part of humankind that makes the difference between a happy and a gloomy living. Being good to people who are rude to you only makes you a better person. Following this path can help u spread cheerfulness and bliss which finally transforms the bad into good and the good into better.

Lots of love,
Akansha.

The key to a woman's heart...

There are many locks that are made out of progressing time. The owners of these locks secure the keys safely in their silent heart. Eyes express out everything silently. the indication is softer than a whisper. As a result, no one finds a way to reach the keys, and even if one does, it is a rarity.

A woman's heart is considered an ocean of secrets. It is almost next to impossible to find a key that can reveal her heart. Perhaps, it is because a woman hides the dark truth behind her silent eyes, expressing nothing. However, the path leading to the means is acquired step by step, by understanding the lady. And understanding her is the biggest challenge that one faces in due course of knowing a woman.

The bond that one shares with a woman, decides the fate of the person who wants to peep into her heart. Time strengthens the relationship. Innumerable tests decide if one deserves to move ahead on the path to discover the key. Sharing a lady's feelings and learning to know her in and out are the two methods that bridge an unbreakable and trustworthy bond between the two. And finally, a relationship develops where the eyes speak out everything. Everything seems to be heard without saying anything. The bond holds no identity. It is built out of the eternal emotions that mesmerize the lives. This pure connection constructs the key, and the lock opens up automatically.

If...

Life is endowed with innumerable things to learn from the experiences that come face to face with an individual, in due course of this journey from birth to death. love is one of the purest feelings that one comes across while treading along this path. According to me, it s an emotion that enthralls life with all the happiness that one aspires for. It lives beyond mortal death and that's how man becomes immortal.

My life brought in a feeling as pure as this, when I'd begun a new phase of my life at my Junior College. Life seemed to have achieved all that's required to make to enjoy bliss. I often wondered,"If i had not been gifted with Love, life would wouldn't have been as beautiful as it is today." Time proceeded with love and everything seemed perfect. Then came a 'Tsunami' in our lives, which left everything devastated. Everything seemed to have lost its identity. I didn't possess a heart anymore. life had lost its soul. The remnant were shattered pieces of a feeling as eternal as Love.

My mind always told me thereon,"If I hadn't fallen for it, I wouldn't have been killed." Trust seemed to find no room in my life for anyone. I still remember the tear that rolled out, it reminds me that it is next to impossible to find Love. I was reluctant to face myself after having met with betrayal in love. My life seemed to have lost. I trembled without my soul. The fiasco in love changed me, perhaps both for the good and bad. i could not shelter my feelings anywhere. Today, after 6 months and 21 days of my death, the tears beg for mercy. My long lost soul cries out, day and night, "Get me back to my life"...It sends its message in the form of tears that pour out every night. My body is an alive corpse. The scars will last forever. I'll never forget the time when I met defeat in sustaining Love.

I often wonder,"Why was I punished for a mistake which I never committed?"'Betrayal', is something I've experienced earlier in my journey. Tasting dust after the betrayal in love has eroded the feelings that I held for love once upon a time. I fear to secure my faith in anyone. No one, has witnessed my tears. I'm happy for that 'coz they would have realised that I'm hollow from within, which I'd never want to happen. The world seems to make me aware that finding True Love is the biggest challenges in life. And sustaining it beyond perfection is a tougher struggle. today, I satisfy my long lost soul by realising that,"If I hadn't fallen down, how would I ever realise that Life is not an easy game to play?", My tears cry for what happened in the past. But, if it hadn't occurred, i would have never learnt that,"One has to sail life's boat along with the waves of time to reach the shore of happiness". I'm happy life has hewn out the maturity and wisdom that hid itself in the small temple of my long lost isolated soul. It continues to cry, tears find their way out and each time it helps me learn something new to live life in a better way.

Well, as a matter of fact, my broken heart can never be mended. But, It'll continue to live life 'coz I know someday things will change for the better. Perhaps, the emotion that I once held of Love shall rejuvenate and bring my soul back, if and only if the times change. But still, even today I wonder,"If ......my boat had toppled over, I wouldn't have ever learnt the mystery of Love and its meaning. Perhaps life would have been different".

Avec beaucoup d'amour~Akansha....

Friendship or Love?

According to me, the two most important things in life are friendship and love. My life revolves around these two eternal feelings that engross human life in all the diverse colours possible. Both, friendship and love hold a lot of importance , perhaps equally in life. But, when the two have to confront each other, a battle begins. A battle where anything and everything can be used to win except for cheating. It is a war where no one loses, neither does anyone win. However, when such a situation arises in life, it becomes impossible to choose one over the other. Nevertheless, this situation has occurred in many lives so far. When one goes out of their way to choose, be it friendship or love, it has made an impact on the life ahead of the individual.

If I had to describe friendship, I would just state that it is one of the purest feelings that one comes across. Friendship is the elixir of my life. Love doesn't require an introduction. The word, LOVE is enough to state everything that it hold to fill tranquility in one's life. One can live without love but it is very difficult and frightening to imagine a world without friends. As a result it is so often said,"Friends needn't be lovers, but lovers have to be friends." Friendship finds it way everywhere, even in a feeling as eternal as love. If it is hard to find Love, it is harder to find friendship. In today's scenario, the teeming millions consider love as an accessory to be bought, used and thrown as thrash. Despite having no knowledge about friendship, many souls misuse the tag of friendship for their good, often harming the other adversely.

If friendship leaves one mentally disturbed after betrayal, then the betrayal in love deprives one of their soul. One may never live life with the same trust in anyone after having experienced betrayal in friendship. But, when one is subjected to tripping and falling down in love, the person's life can never be the same again. Indeed, the person may never again live life. At such a stage in life, it is one and only friendship that comes to the rescue. It is not easy for one to live life after having tasted sorrow in love. But, friendship outperforms that hurdle and gifts a new life to the victim.

In due respect of this fact of my life, I have realised that friendship is the most essential part of life. It teaches one everything. As a result laureates say,"One needs to trip and stand up again on his feet to realise the mystery of living life in the right way." I've learnt that both in friendship and in love. And I feel blessed to have witnessed moments of utter grief, they've taught me to live life the way it moves on. The ultimate pain in Love's and Friendship's betrayal is something that I had never expected in my life. However, as the most unexpected things in life come true, so did this one. I trembled to trust anyone again when I confronted a fiasco in friendship at school. I shattered into pieces when I met with the same accident in love, a year later. But by then things had taken a turn for the good. My friends became my family, my breath, my life, when they helped me march ahead to live a happier life...

Perhaps, that led to the realisation that Friendship is my life. That's why today i choose Friendship over Love. As I had earlier said, this choice will leave an indelible mark for the life ahead of me. But then at every stage in life, my friends shall matter the most, no matter what. They mean the world to me. They comprise the music of my life, to which I am dancing, happily and I will continue to do so forever 'coz I know "Love is not my cup of tea", so I'm happy to choose Friendship that'll spread and help me spread happiness and love all around.

Avec beaucoup d'amour~Akansha

C'est la vie~This is life

Life is an unsolved puzzle.The events that occur in life are only a means that perhaps, lead men closer to a destination....a destination which holds life's meaning.As a matter of fact the incidents of life are so diverse that leave men confused and that is something which drifts the destination further. Man's enemy in this journey is his dear friend, 'Worry'. It diverts man from taking analytical steps in due course of the challenges that he gets to confront from time to time.

Well, this is how one's destination never seems to come closer as we march ahead in life. It is difficult for man to realise this because he gets carried away by the current that 'Worry' sets for him since he lives in the misconception that things can take a turn, for the better, once he consults with 'Worry'. One of the deepest mysteries of life lies in the trick of how one tackles a situation when he is overwhelmed with 'Worry'. Perhaps, solving this piece of Life's Puzzle is the first stage in deciphering 'Life's Mystery'.

Things go haywire when we look forward to 'Worry' to shelter our troubles. In fact what is the use of worrying when we know that it can never do any good to us. The only thing that Worry can do is for its own good thereby displaying its selfish trait. Worry is like a bed bug that erodes one's self confidence. As a result, its only dust that is left behind for man to taste.

Well, overpowering 'Worry' and marching towards a new horizon is one of the biggest challenges of Life. Cogently competing with situations in life can be possible only if we learn to conquer this so called friend. It's an uphill task for everyone. However, as nothing is impossible in this world, so is winning the battle of Life. The mantra of living a happy life rests on the result of man's battle with 'Worry'....

As a very dear friend says ,

"If you can solve your problem, then what is the use of worrying;

If you can't solve your problem, then what is the need of worrying",

I believe that once man outperforms 'Worry', both success and happiness tread along with him all through his Life. Henceforth, it leads towards the ultimate realisation, Life's meaning...

So keep smiling....Always....Welcome the ups and downs of Life. When they realise that you are ready to confront them with all the courage, then their steps falter and it leads to your victory....

Avec beaucoup d'amour~Akansha....

: : Vision : :

. . .

Amidst the darkness of night,

Shines a beacon of light;

Instilling the power,

To march ahead in life.

. . .